Derp Do your worst aka lets hear some PJs

Discussion in 'RAIDers League' started by BANHAMMER, Jun 26, 2012.

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  1. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    naah, can't do it. i can do whatever i want, but you can't. hypocrisy rules.
     
  2. Luciffer

    Luciffer Satan Spawn Staff Member

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    harryneopotter : remember the thingy you were trying out on me? ;)
    Me thinks that thingy needs another 'testing'.. [​IMG]
     
  3. sumonpathak

    sumonpathak RAID Rookie

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    *grabs popcorn and beer*
     
  4. mrnikhilsudo

    mrnikhilsudo Don't like Mr suit

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    ok how about this one.....
    Boss says "I dont care how you get it done just get it done.... even if you ahve to die"
    hapless intern"what is with this "Die" thing in his family?"
    intern 2" What do you mean"
    intern 1 "well his daughter kept saying the same thing"
    intern 2 " how so?"
    intern 1 "she kept saying "f*** me till I die"
     
  5. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Santa court mein judge se:
    Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
    meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!
    Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?
    Santa: Badla.
     
  6. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    man: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my Wife !!!
    friend: Wow !! That's an unbelievable exchange offer !! ;)
     
  7. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Husband texts to wife on cell..
    "Hi,what r u doing Darling?"
    Wife: I'm dying..!
    Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
    Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
    Husband: "Bloody English Language!
     
  8. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    santa banta jokes milady...
    --- Double Post Merged, Aug 27, 2012 ---
    An American, an Italian and our own Santa were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...

    They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too." Then Bhola opened his lunch and said, "Paratha and dhal again. If I get paratha and dhal one more time I'm jumping too."

    Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too. Then Santa opens his lunch, sees paratha and dhal and jumps to his death also...

    At the funeral.....
    The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!
    The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much."
    Everyone turned and stared at Santa's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He used to make his own lunch!"
     
  9. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Foreigner asks:
    India mein sabse zyada baraf kahan girti hai??

    Santa answers:

    "Whisky Ke Glass Mein...!!"
     
  10. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Doctor: tabiyat kaisi hai?



    Santa: pehle se ziada khraab hai.



    Doctor: dawai khali thee?



    Santa: khali nahin thee, bhari huee thee.



    Doctor: I mean, dawai le li thee?



    Santa: Ji, aap hi se to li thee.



    Doctor: bewaqoof, dawai peeli thee?



    Santa: Ji nahin, dawai neeli thee.



    Doctor: abay gudhay, dawai ko peelia thaa?



    Santa: nahin ji, peelia to mujhay thaa.



    Doctor: ullu ke putthay, dawai ko khol ke munh mein rukh lia thaa?



    Santa: nahin, aap ne hi to kaha thaa ke fridge mein rukhna.



    Doctor: abay, kya maar khaaye ga?



    Santa: nahin, dawai khaaon ga.



    Doctor: nikal saalay, to pagal kar de ga.



    Santa: jaa raha hoon, phir kub aaon?



    Doctor: Qayamat ke baad.



    Santa: Qayamat ke kitnay din baad?



    Doctor: *behosh*
     
  11. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Bus mein college ki saari ladkiyan chad gayi...bus bhar gayi...
    Conductor : No more...No more...
    ....
    Santa bola: u ....idot....Morning mein chada li....aur hum aaye toh ...No more...No more.!!!!!! ;)
     
  12. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'

    His second friend says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'

    Santa says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.'

    Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

    'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'
     
  13. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Our Santa gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

    "What's up?" he says.

    "I m having a heart attack," cries the woman.

    He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Balvinder is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
    Our Santa slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the closet floor.

    "You ?#@*&%!^$~," says Santa, "my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
     
  14. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile.
    1st Sardar: chal police ko de ke aate he.
    2nd sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
    1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha..!!

    Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
    Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
    Police: Kyo huss rahe ho?
    Sardar: Me to uth ta hi subah 9 baje hu.!

    Sardar to Doctor: Mujhe 1 problem he.
    Dr: Kya?
    Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
    Dr: aisa kab hota he?
    Sardar: Phone karte waqt.!!

    Man: Sardarji aap ko garmi lagti he to kya karte ho?
    Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hu.
    Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
    Sardar: To A/C 'on' kar leta hu.!

    A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."After 11 years an angry Vahe Guru appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"

    Ek sardar ki chhatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyu?
    Sardar bola: Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

    Hitler: "There's no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
    Sardar: Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jab kharidi thi tab check karna tha na"

    Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
    Salesman: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
    Sardar: Oye yaar,mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

    1st sardar: oye..agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
    2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha he ki banda so hi jaye..

    1 sardar rail ki patri pe so gaya. 1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho?Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
    Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua,train kya cheez hai.

    In bio practical:Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
    Sardar: I don't know.
    Examiner: You are failed.!
    What's your name?
    Sardar: See my legs & tell my name..


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  15. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Fed up with people making fun of him, Santa Singh (the sardar) decided to change his religion. He joined a priest in a church as his assistant.
    One day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, He called Santa D'Costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for him.

    Santa told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn what to do.

    Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said: "Father, forgive me for I have sinned"
    Priest: "What did you do?"
    Woman: " I committed adultery"
    Priest: "How many times?"
    Woman: "Three times"
    Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more"

    A few minutes later a man entered the confessional.
    He said "Father, forgive me for I have sinned"
    Priest: "What did you do?"
    Man: "I committed adultery"
    Priest: "How many times?"
    Man: "Three times"
    Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more"

    Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and the priest could leave. Santa D'costa was now alone. A few minutes later another woman entered and said "Father, forgive me for I have sinned"
    Santa: "What did you do?"
    Woman: "I committed adultery"
    Santa: "How many times?"
    Woman: "Once"
    Santa: "Go do it two more times, we have a special offer this week, three times for $ 5.00"




    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  16. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Once santa's frnd went to his home nd told him to introduce his family.
    santa introduces:

    yeh meri biwi,GOOGLE KAUR,ek sawal pucho das jawab deti hai..

    yeh mera beta, FACEBOOK SINGH, ghar ki har baat muhalle tak pahuchata hai...

    aur yeh meri beti, TWITTER TALWAR, pura muhalla raat din follow karta hai ise:)


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  17. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Great Confusion :
    Santa suhaagrat me biwi k pichhe se daalne laga

    Biwi- ji, aage se daalte hain

    Santa- tujhe kaise pata?

    Biwi- jab main college me thi to Gunde utha le gaye the,

    unhone aage se dala tha

    Santa- ye Gunde bhi naa

    confuse karte hain, mujhe le gaye the to pichhe se dala tha..!


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  18. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Santa - Abe tune Baal kyo katwa liye?

    Banta-kya karu yaar..Hair Fall ho raha tha!
    Santa - Thank God ki tujhe Night Fall nahi hua...


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  19. MrsJD666

    MrsJD666 Ruling the Devil Staff Member

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    CID Blast :

    Haar se pehle mein ummeed kyu chhodu,
    Haar se pehle mein ummeed kyu chhodu..

    Daya bola, salary sab ko milti hai,
    Darwaza hamesha mein hi kyu todu?!
     
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  20. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    Ek Shayar -

    kutte pe kutta...kutte pe kutta
    kutte pe kutta...kutte pe kutta
    kutte pe kutta...kutte pe kutta
    kutte pe kutta...kutte pe kutta
    kutte pe kutta...kutte pe kutta
    kutte pe kutta...kutte pe kutta

    ek aadmi : abe aage to bol...

    Shayar - abe aage ki chhod....balance to dekh !
     
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