The HQ looked too spartan for my tastes so I made this thread to liven things up. I saw the old man look at me. He grinned and held up three fingers. I heard someone blow a horn three times. Damn! The White Walkers! We ran and left behind Sam.
One fine day I woke up and shook off the mists of sleep that still clung to me like an activated maghook on metal. Outside my bedroom window I saw a dinosaur eating a yellow coconut and three men in bermudas/suspenders drinking moonshine from golden honeycombs. I waved at them and they looked at me and morphed into six feet tall refrigerators. The doors of the refrigerators opened and three cruise missiles shot out from each of them like bats out of a barn, making 9 missiles in total. Suddenly the dinosaur jumped in front of me and slapped off the missiles, they just bounced off its hide. It threw the coconut up in the air, really high up, and when it came down it was bristling with fire. It landed smack! on the three refrigerators and blew them up. Then the dinosaur ate me.
I made it up Right, this happened when I was waiting in a queue in Inox, City Center, LOLKATA. I was supposed to meet up with my buddy Charnock in the theater. I took my tickets and ascended up the escalator. And out of frickin nowhere, a GREAT BIG ball of PURE WHITE LIGHT smashed in from a window, incinerating the escalator. I was stranded on the 2nd floor and the only way down was via the lift and the escalator. I went for le lift and to my utter astonishment I saw a flower with a glass of beer inside it. I noticed a midget with a stack of TNT standing behind the flower, ready to blow this lift to the heavens. I ran away and as expected, the lift blew in pieces. Now I was marooned on the 2nd floor. I couldn't jump as there were about seventeen PORCUPINES with POISON TIPPED bristles on the ground floor. Out of the washroom Charnock came and saw what was happening. He slammed his fists together and the porcupines ATTACKED each other. Fooking bristles, 12" long and sharper than whatever that is sharp, flew here and there and over here too. Charnock summoned a great wall of SHEER from nowhere. We were protected from the ricocheting bristles. AND FOCKING HELL, I saw sixty eight ninjas jump from a flying dragon which had a troll face. Charnock detonated a small bomb which blew up everything except me. The floor beneath me broke and I fell into a void. A voice sang, "And you will find INFINITY" I fell and fell and landed on my computer chair. I'm ultra paranoid now, Ninjas dude, FOOKING NINJAS WITH SHURIKENS BIGGER THAN TRUCK TYRES AND SWORDS THAT COULD CLEAVE BUILDINGS!!!! They are watching me. I'll be on my guard.
I heard the Captain used to serve under DELTA airlines, short for Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive. His favorite pastime is swatting stinger missiles using cricket bats. Once he was flying a Delta plane over the Rockies, and a terrorist shot a HUGE missile at the plane. The captain's plane registered the presence of a speeding object which was about to pummel it and blow it out of the sky. Fishbaker was a man of action. He tied one end of a flexible cord around his waist, tied the other end to the door of the plane, opened the door and JUMPED out with an anodized cricket bat. He swung in a half circle, met the missile head on and SWATTED it down to earth. RIP terrorist. As for the Cap'n, well, he swung back and came in through the open door on the other side of le plane! Here's an artist's interpretation of the scene based on Fishbaker's words-
My suit looks smashing! Imma bling it with LEDs in the palms and the chest and the eyes and make em brighter than the sun!
Luciffer you (or anyone else reading this) interested in buying a 12" Dovahkiin statuette complete with all the bells and whistles?
