Misfortunes of Western World

Discussion in 'RAIDers League' started by BANHAMMER, Aug 21, 2015.

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  1. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    As a proud member of Superior third world squatting race, I am here to talk about what these first world plebeians are missing. Very early in the morning, when the c--ock goes c--ock-a-doodle do, you wake up and break a branch from the Neem Tree(Azadirachta indica - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) and rub your teeth with it(you actually chew it) and feel the freshness of Neem in your mouth and then you proceed further on an adventure which will brighten your whole day. You take your Lota(see picture below) with you and start walking towards the pond, sometimes you are lucky that instead of a pond you have a river in your village or even a lake. But as a third world squatter, indulgence in such a luxury is as disliked as presence of an AC, the device Satan created to sway you from the path of enlightenment and joy.
    You keep walking until you find a spot in the field, where someone has not already contributed recently. It is important that the distribution of poop should be consistent throughout the field so that the nutrients from the poop are transferred thoroughly to the field. Each of these poop patches are called land mines and you better not step on them and lay your own landmine at a discreet distance.
    Finally you find a spot, the spot calls you with a smile. You know that it is time to slide your pants(or trousers) and remove your undies and sit down for one of the most joyful activity of the day. There is nothing better than sitting in a field shitting. The cold breeze will touch your buttocks and you will feel hair on your buttocks raising due to the sheer pleasure and sometimes because it is too freaking cold. Either way the enjoyment of breeze on the buttocks in open fields is not to be taken for granted. Somewhere in distance you can hear a peacock making those annoying noises, but you love it early in the morning because peacocks are beautiful. Then you suddenly feel that the poop is touching your buttocks as it has risen too high, you stop the poop by clenching your buttocks tightly. It is time to move to new spot and continuing the laying of landmines to a new spot. Like a seasoned pro, you always choose a spot where moving to a new location while holding the poop is easy, just move like a crab. Ahh, you start pooping again.
    If you are lucky there might be another person in the field, you look at him, while you let that big one get out of your anus and smile after that weird expression on your face. This is nature and bonding of humans at their finest. There is no smell here because wind acts as natural air freshener, mingling poop smell to all the village stench and this becomes the collective fresh air of the village. You feel you are done here with last push, you look at your gorgeous creation and think that you have positively contributed to mother nature and to the agricultural productivity of the village.
    Now If you are one of those people who will fill their Lota from their own house, you might not be a true third world squatter and I personally know a lot of these new trend people, who are breaking the ancient techniques and bringing their own water with them. Please don't do that. Now using the crab walk, you walk all the way to the pond while making sure you do not step on the landmines. I generally prefer to lay my mines closer to the pond, so the walk is short and my poop doesn't dry and stick to my bumhole. The joys of final step of reaching the pond and then taking a fill of the fresh water from the pond in your Lota, and like a true religious third worlder, you use your left hand to rub your arsehole and right hand to pour water from the Lota. Some people will use continuous stream and some will fill their hands with water first and splash the bumhole, both techniques are correct. It is important to understand that the reason why you don't bring your own water is because with just one Lota of water, you will never get as much cleanliness of your arsehole as you would expect. Also rubbing your own bumhole is very satisfactory feeling, I am sure that is where the whole idea of Anal sex came from(You are welcome western World).
    Once your bumhole is cleaner than your mouth, you need to wash your hands. The hygiene is single most important thing here, as they say cleanliness is next to godliness. So in order to do that you walk to the other side of the lake and use the fresh mud to clean your hands and clean them three times. The full cleaning of hand is done when you get home and use the ash from the stove. Remember that Ash is cleaner because all the germs are killed. Some folks will tell you that soap is better, but they are wrong. Ash and Mud are vastly superior and we should never question the wisdom of our wise forefathers.
    Once you are done, you look towards the west and pity them because you know that is where the sun sets, that is where they have closed toilets which suffocates them and they have to inhale the stench of their own poop and they are not contributing to the agricultural growth of their community. You also smile that you sit in a relax squatting position where poop flows in its natural state and you love every single push that comes out of your rectu-m. Then you smile because your arsehole is cleaner than anything they will ever experience, all the paper rubbing and irritation it causes will no where be close to the satisfaction of rubbing it with your own naked hands.
    World is a cruel place, you want every single one of you western brothers to experience this bliss, but they can't because the propaganda of western government has mind washed them with lies about sanitation and hygiene and cleanliness. You just sigh at their misfortune and pray someday that their western toilets will be destroyed and they have to poop in open like the way god intended.

    This is a Lota
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2015
    Rockfella, harryneopotter and MOZ like this.
  2. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    super like
     
  3. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    Thanks.
    I suppose we can get this out.
    Also publishing this require formating not sure what kinds?
     
  4. MOZ

    MOZ RAID Leader Staff Member

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    Brilliant piece.
     
  5. JD666

    JD666 RAID Leader Staff Member

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    Someone summon DBG from the bowels.

    This needs to be washed and wiped properly.
     
  6. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    He is alive and still in society?
     
  7. Rockfella

    Rockfella Nordic Staff Member

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    Super like! Squats rule, shitting as well! This is one big advantage we have over the western world. We squat to shit.
    P.S: I just realized i have western potty seat.
     
    BANHAMMER likes this.

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