Derp Official typo and comments thread.

Well....the title says it all...
MOZ should know well what i have in mind
Post all the hilarious funny typo's/comments of members that u see...
post away gentleman....and ladies....

 

my collection(a part of it)

 

Am I allowed to post my hilarious comments? They are quite a lot...bhalus, poems, crystal sheer stories, etc etc.

 

yesh

 

some more...

i think this guy is the human incarnation of paul the octopus...

EDITED: Smiles were hotlinked to Ero-dov. Removed.
-dexbg

 

that's all for now....

 

''One fine day I woke up and shook off the mists of sleep that still clung to me like an activated maghook on metal. Outside my bedroom window I saw a dinosaur eating a yellow coconut and three men in bermudas/suspenders drinking moonshine from golden honeycombs. I waved at them and they looked at me and morphed into six feet tall refrigerators. The doors of the refrigerators opened and three cruise missiles shot out from each of them like bats out of a barn, making 9 missiles in total. Suddenly the dinosaur jumped in front of me and slapped off the missiles, they just bounced off its hide. It threw the coconut up in the air, really high up, and when it came down it was bristling with fire. It landed smack! on the three refrigerators and blew them up. Then the dinosaur ate me.''

''

Right, this happened when I was waiting in a queue in Inox, City Center, LOLKATA. I was supposed to meet up with my buddy Charnock in the theater. I took my tickets and ascended up the escalator. And out of frickin nowhere, a GREAT BIG ball of PURE WHITE LIGHT smashed in from a window, incinerating the escalator. I was stranded on the 2nd floor and the only way down was via the lift and the escalator. I went for le lift and to my utter astonishment I saw a flower with a glass of beer inside it. I noticed a midget with a stack of TNT standing behind the flower, ready to blow this lift to the heavens. I ran away and as expected, the lift blew in pieces. Now I was marooned on the 2nd floor. I couldn't jump as there were about seventeen PORCUPINES with POISON TIPPED bristles on the ground floor. Out of the washroom Charnock came and saw what was happening. He slammed his fists together and the porcupines ATTACKED each other. Fooking bristles, 12" long and sharper than whatever that is sharp, flew here and there and over here too. Charnock summoned a great wall of SHEER from nowhere. We were protected from the ricocheting bristles. AND FOCKING HELL, I saw sixty eight ninjas jump from a flying dragon which had a troll face. Charnock detonated a small bomb which blew up everything except me. The floor beneath me broke and I fell into a void. A voice sang, "And you will find INFINITY" I fell and fell and landed on my computer chair. I'm ultra paranoid now, Ninjas dude, FOOKING NINJAS WITH SHURIKENS BIGGER THAN TRUCK TYRES AND SWORDS THAT COULD CLEAVE BUILDINGS!!!! They are watching me. I'll be on my guard.''

''I heard the Captain used to serve under DELTA airlines, short for Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive. His favorite pastime is swatting stinger missiles using cricket bats. Once he was flying a Delta plane over the Rockies, and a terrorist shot a HUGE missile at the plane. The captain's plane registered the presence of a speeding object which was about to pummel it and blow it out of the sky. Fishbaker was a man of action. He tied one end of a flexible cord around his waist, tied the other end to the door of the plane, opened the door and JUMPED out with an anodized cricket bat. He swung in a half circle, met the missile head on and SWATTED it down to earth. RIP terrorist. As for the Cap'n, well, he swung back and came in through the open door on the other side of le plane! Here's an artist's interpretation of the scene based on Fishbaker's words-

''

''Retarded Sauron lives in Barad Durr Hurr.''

''I stared at the dealer. "Gooby pls" he said. "Woosie" I replied.

"Must we do this everytime we deal?" I asked irritably. Saying woosie to strangers isn't my idea of a fun night out.

"Can't help it. Gotta be vigilant. Here's your package". I took the brown box and hurried off.

I sat down on my sofa and opened the box. It had a piece of paper that said 'Nolan pls'.

I whipped out my phone and called the dealer. "DOLAN PLS!" I screamed like a maniac.

"Very good!" The dealer assured me that I'd receive the real package tomorrow.

I went to bed with the words 'Dolan pls' hovering in my mind.''

''Come to the fountain and sing the first song that comes to your mind."

I approached the fountain, my insides a-flutter. I could not remember any song in the blasting heat of the morning. And I was painfully conscious of the fact that I was wearing purple Bermudas with little gold dongs on it. I sang something like "Woosie woosie WOOOOSIE, ploosie moosie fluusie". People were staring at me. I saw the neighborhood pervert reaching for his phone.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I was wearing nothing above the waist. Don't ask me why.

Dealer was less than amused by my yodeling. "What the hell is that? I said sing a song!"

"Hey, it's the only song I could think of!"

"Gooby pls. Your package is in the fountain. Lol"

I panicked. The shit was probably soggy by now. I ran towards the fountain, mouthing curses at my feet.

I found the package. This is what I saw, honest to God:


A piece of paper with black lines running everywhere.

I felt light headed. Dafaq was this?

"Dafaq is this? Dude, where's the hash? The dirt? Where is it?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

"Ah, well, flip the page, you'll get it." came the reply.

I turned it over and saw a small amount of the good stuff in a packet that was stuck on the back side with blue tape. I sighed deeply and stuffed the hash, with paper and all, deep inside my Bermudas. I ran off to my house, much to the disappointment of the eighty year old pervert who was filming me presumably for unpalatable reasons.''

"Crossing the river of blood was never easy, the ghostly shades of the dead were busy

Busy at blocking our progress, wearing their best Sunday dress

We rowed and rowed till we saw a man, who was holding a beer can

We stopped still, hardly daring to breathe, when the man suddenly started to seethe

Seethe at us, who were equipped with state of the art beer flasks, us who had gas masks

"You heathens! Beer is meant to be drunk from a can!" he screeched, then saying something

Something about making a tape to a rapper, and then committing suicide, drunk and depressed

He reminded me of Eminem's 'Stan'.

We learned that he was a worker in a factory, tasked to make beer satisfactory

Hence his tirade against the flasks, for in his words, "Beer is meant to be drunk from a can"

As I stared, wanting to row away, up stood a man named Eames

And said to me, "Think big, for you are in your dreams."

And whoosh, he took out a great big sword

And ripped out the man's spinal cord

Thus I awoke, to another day of work

In the glorious city of New York."

''She was seated on the sofa, right beside me
as I nervously fingered my goatee
This was the time to summon my eloquence
and at the same time drop all pretense

Her deep blue eyes
seethed with malice
As I tried to explain
why I cheated her thrice

I reasoned with her, or I tried to
she waved off my words with a sardonic, 'that's true'
Never to lose hope, I shook her shoulder
only to see her eyes turn even colder.

Now came the moment I was dreading
where she threatened to break off the wedding
Which she proceeded to do, by leaving her seat
and run about the place, calling me a cheat.

She took off the ring, threw it up in the air
it fell to earth, I knew not where.
She went out through the door, out of my life
nevermore to become my wife.''

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''Once there lived a king who liked to eat green leaves. He would devour leaves of all shapes and sizes. And it was not uncommon for the kingdom to run out of the green stuff.​

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The Leaf King, as he was known, had a neighbor king, who would eat hay rolled in crushed grapes. He was simply known as 'The Lord of Hay'. And it was not uncommon for the kingdom of Hay to run out of grapes.​

​

The inhabitants of both kingdoms were embarrassed by the eccentric behavior of their respective kings. Surely, they felt, something should be done about this. We can't have lemon heads ruling over us.​

​

As if in answer to their prayers, a stranger visited the lands. He first came the Kingdom of Leaf, where he stayed at an inn. He announced that he was blessed with the ability to cure anyone of any disease.​

​

The inhabitants of the inn were ecstatic. They wasted no time in appraising the stranger of the Leaf King's eccentricities. Leave it to me, he said with a grin, I know what to do. Give me a day or two.​

​

He left the next day and went to the Kingdom of Hay and was soon aware of the Hay king's odd behavior. He gave the same assurances to the Hay people.​

​

Soon the word spread throughout both kingdoms that a mysterious stranger had come to cure their kings. The stranger made sure that everyone except the kings knew that he would do the needful.​

​

A day later, when the populace was saturated with anticipation, the stranger mounted his horse and rode off. Disappointment settled in like a low fog and the people became angry. They fought among themselves, looted their neighbors, sodomized their pigs and hatched elaborate plots to overthrow their kings.​

​

Both kingdoms succeeded in offing their kings, and it was at this point that the stranger came back with an army and conquered both kingdoms. He was none other than Ibalibu Kahn, the intelligent and powerful ruler of Asia. He had made sure that both kingdoms had weakened themselves before moving in. Sadly there is no concrete evidence to suggest that this took place. However we do have the words of a nameless poet. They seem conclusive enough:​

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"The Great Kahn came on wings​

After we had offed our kings​

He looted the coffers and took the thrones​

After our kings were overthrown​

​

This song of mine will make some cry​

Will make some laugh and slap their thighs​

For my work is done, the end is nigh​

All that I have said is just one big lie​

Trolololol ololol"​

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EDITED:​

Removed images hotlinked to Ero-dov Image hosting .. ​

-dexbg​

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^^o yes....

 

These quotes are golden. One does not simply let go of them.

 

hopefully they wont copyright these