The below should be printed into a quick reference booklet and handed out to every Indian passenger Going abroad. First timers should be given two booklets. 1. Thou shalt respect thy fellow passengers personal space. Respect everyone’s personal space, I know we do not have the concept of ‘personal space’ but others do. And you are traveling to their country. So No Physical contact unless absolutely necessary. No pushing, shoving, budging, blocking. No standing too close to someone, no breathing heavily on someone’s neck or in someone’s face. Especially with that breath, No! 2. Thou shalt not visually covet the passengers & crew Keep those eyes in check, Sure that Euro babe or that South American chica is cute and hot as hell. Appreciate, don’t disrobe them mentally. A quick glance or two is enough. Don’t get smitten and keep leering and leeching. Same goes for the Cabin crew as well. 3. Thou shall respect thine Cabin Crew as you would your family. Treat the cabin crew and other staff as you would your maa, behen or beti. - And they won’t spit in your food or drink. I guarantee it. They are there to save your rotund ass in the event of an emergency. And as a courtesy since they need your business, they will serve you food and drinks. 4. Thou shalt not excessively partake in inflight meals & drinks. They’re free, but that does not mean that it’s the local Bhandara and you can gorge as much as you want, and then go back and pack some food for your extended family, neighbors, watchman etc. It’s rude, makes you look like an el cheapo (which you probably are) and simply makes everyone else go Arrgh! 5. Thou shall control thy physical presence. Control your body Language, voice and odor. If the seat is too small for you, buy a Business class or First class seat that will accommodate you. Or better still, lose some weight. But you have no right to intrude into the space of the person next to you. So keep your hands and legs and all other limbs within the confines of the seat allocated to you. Keep your voice low, since others are not interested in what your latest Business acquisition is or how many bathrooms your new villa has. Also be polite so add a peppering of Thank You and Please. If you genuinely have an issue with BO, not just sweat but smelly feet, underarm stink, ?#@*&%!^$~ attack problems, Bad breath, handle it before you get on board. And keep them shoes on or wear flip flops lest you want someone to point it out to you. 6. Thou shall treat the washroom like thine own. Use the Toilet/Washroom as you would at your own home. That means, understand how everything works before using it. It’s not really a pretty sight when you open the door (after doing your business) and ask the crew where the flush button is (yes it happens) while proudly showing him/her your business in the pot. Eww, Arrgh, No! Keep it clean and don’t sprinkle all over the place. 7. Thou shalt never panic without an emergency. Don’t rush, panic unnecessarily when the Aircraft comes to a halt. Everyone is tired, including the crew. Last thing they want is a sudden jolt and a big oversized suitcase (that you’ve managed to sneak in as cabin baggage) to fall on your aforesaid fat head. Then they’ll just have to do additional paperwork and save you by giving you First Aid. It may be customary in India, but else where it is not. So follow the decorum. 8. Thou shall weigh thy belonging And save everyone the headache of bearing witness to how good your haggling and negotiating skills are. You’re simply holding up everyone. Airlines barely allow 0.5-1kg over weight. Do Not, and I mean it, Do Not think you’ll be able to sneak in 2-3 kgs. Weigh your luggage beforehand, and always leave a margin of 0.5 kgs. The airline scale will be more accurate than yours any day. 9. Thou shalt not let thy physiological whims go unchecked. Don’t burp, ?#@*&%!^$~, belch, pick your nose, clean your nose, wash your hands, yawn in someone’s face (at your seat). In addition to point number 5. All of this belongs in the washroom. If you have to, do it there. 10. Thou shalt not partake in any drama. Don’t be a drama queen. This goes out to all the female passengers. Don’t be a drama queen. Seriously, I’ve heard more fake accents coming off female Indian passengers than males. If you can’t get the service you liked, upgrade or buy a more expensive ticket for a better airline. And seriously no one gives a $hit how your previous flight experience was, or how is it when you travel X or Y airline. Suck it up and converse with a smile. Else I’ll save the crew the hassle and throw my plate in your face. and as a bonus - ~~ Thou shall abide by the dude and be chill. ~~ And remember the image of our great nation rests on your shoulder. Every traveler, who is a citizen, when traveling abroad, carries the image of our country. Not his/her own. Our Country. So it’s high time we changed that perception about Indian Travelers. Jai Hind!