Derp The DIRTY Joke thread

Discussion in 'RAIDers League' started by TheMightyS, Aug 27, 2012.

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  1. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    [panel]​
    ***THIS IS A MULTILINGUAL THREAD***
    [/panel]​


    A newly married man was standing in front of a mirror naked and was admiring his physique.


    '2 inches more & I will be a king.'

    Suddenly the wife comes in and says,'2 inches less and you will be a queen!'
     
  2. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    There are four kinds of sex :
    HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.


    BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.


    HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "?#@*&%!^$~ YOU"



    COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer ?#@*&%!^$~ you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
     
  3. dbg

    dbg RAID Staff Staff Member

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    Thread title edited.
    Carry on gang.
     
  4. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Ek Bacha Apne Papa Se Cycle
    Maangta Hai
    Bacha: “Papa Maine Ab School Bus
    Per Nahi Jana Hai Mujhe Cycle
    Chahiye”
    Papa: “Beta Kya Tera L_nd Teri G_
    nd Tak Pahunchta Hai???”
    Bacha Check Karke Dekhta Hai Aur
    Bola: “Papa Nahi Pahuchta”
    Papa: “Beta Jis Din Pahunchega Us
    Din Aana Abhi Jao”
    Kuch Saal Baad…….
    Bacha: “Papa Mujhe College Jaane
    Ke Liye Motorcycle Chahiye”
    Papa: “Beta Kya Ab Tera L_nd Teri
    G_nd Tak Pahunchta Hai”
    Bacha: “Thodi Si Kasar Hai Abhi”
    Baap: “Ja Jab Poora Pahunch Jaye
    To Aaiyo”
    Beta Roj Try Karta Hai Akhir Kar
    Uska L_nd G_nd Tak Pahunch Hi
    Jata Hai
    Vo Sochta Hai Ki Is Khushi Mein
    Daddy Se Jaake Car Hi Mang Leta
    Hun
    Baap Ko Jake Bolta Hai: “Daddy Ab
    Mera L_nd Meri G_nd Tak
    Pahunchata Hai, Mujhe Car Ledo”
    Papa: “To Bh*nsdi Ke, Apni G_nd
    Maar Meri Kyun Maar Raha Hai...”
     
  5. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Girl-mom i m pregnant..

    Mom-ye sab kaise hua?

    Girl-it was an accident..

    Mom-acha iska matlab tu sadak pe ja rahi thi aur kisi ke laude par gir gayi... :eek:
     
  6. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

    “Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied, “before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
    “Triple filter?”
    “That’s right,” Socrates continued, “before you
    talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say.

    The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
    “No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”
    “All right,” said Socrates. “so you don’t really know if it’s true or not.

    Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
    “No, on the contrary…” “So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true.

    You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Happiness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to make me happy?”
    “No, not really.”
    “Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor will it brighten my day, why tell it to me at all?”

    This explains why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
    It also explains why Socrates never found out his best friend was banging his wife.
     
  7. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Thank God Ekta Kapoor Ended Her “K” Fixation,

    Imagine What Her Serial ‘Bade Acche Lagte Hain’ Would Have Been Called ?

    Khade Acche Lagte Hain….
     
  8. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    My sympathy with Randeep Hooda & Arunoday Singh after watching the "Jism 2" promo..!!

    Poor guys kissed those lips which have sucked so many Dicks...!! :p :D
     
  9. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Why did Ranbir & Deepika break up?
    They thought, If ABHIshek &AISHwarya were
    called AbhiAsh,What wud be RANbir &
    DEEpika called ?
     
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  10. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Recently a man had to go to the hospital to
    have his wedding ring cut off from his ?#@*&%!^$~
    after his mistress found the ring in his pants
    pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it
    on him while he was asleep.
    I don't know what's worse:
    1) Having your mistress find out you're
    married.
    2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding
    ring got on your ?#@*&%!^$~.
    3) Or finding out your ?#@*&%!^$~ actually
    fits.through your wedding ring..
     
  11. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Boy - lets play RAPE-RAPE.

    Girl - No, im not in the mood.

    Boy - That's the spirit!!;)
     
  12. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Gud boys/gals get excited during naughty scenes in the movie...
    but bad boys/gals just smile...becoz.....
    .....
    .........
    they know they can do it better !!!!
    NOW U STOP Smiling :p
     
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  13. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    भगवान ने दूत को इंडिया में ३ चीज़ पता करने के
    लिए भेजा.
    १. सबसे स्ट्रोंग चीज़ क्या है?
    २. सबसे वीक चीज़ क्या है?
    ३. कौन सी चीज़ है जिससे मैंने नही बनायीं , फिर
    भी है?
    दूत वापिस आ के बोले-
    १. इंडिया में सबसे स्ट्रोंग चीज़ है झांट के बाल ,
    जिसे देखो बोलता है के " तू तो मेरे झांट के बाल
    भी नही उखार सकता "
    २. इंडिया में सबसे वीक है "गांड ", जिसे
    देखो बोलता है "गांड फट गयी"
    ३. और वो चीज़ जो आपने नही बनायीं फिर
    भी इंडिया में है वो है "बहन का लौड़ा..
     
  14. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    IMPORTANT for all !!!!
    A person in Brazil died after having sex 42 times in a day.....
    So guys .....:p
    41 is the LIMIT ....;)
     
  15. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Abusing with respect!! Lucknow me 2 bacche lad rahe the.
    1st- Dekhiye agar apne hamari baat nahi
    mani to hm apki walida mohtarma ki
    shaan me gustakhana kalimat pesh
    krenge.
    2nd-Huzur phr hm b apke rukhsar mubarak p esa tamacha raseed krenge k
    gaal mubarak gulab ki maanind chamak
    uthega..:p
     
  16. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Spiderman Is Not The Only Person Who Gets
    A Sticky Hand After Using Web..!
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    Jin Bhai Logo Ko Samajh Na Aaya Ho Wo
    Kripya Kar Ke Angootha Chuse.
     
  17. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Marzi Ka Sex Pap Nahi Hota..
    Piche se Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi Hota..
    Condom Zarur Lagana Mere Dost
    Qki..
    Sex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass Dimag nahi hota.
    --- Double Post Merged, Aug 28, 2012 ---
    [​IMG]
     
  18. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    wats with the huge red font ?
     
  19. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    just the fun.. eye candy!!!
     
  20. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    more like eye sore..... !
     

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