Derp The DIRTY Joke thread

Discussion in 'RAIDers League' started by TheMightyS, Aug 27, 2012.

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  1. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Indian XXX movies
    1. Abla nari ka babla bhari !
    2. Pati fauj me,biwi mauj me !
    3. Amar prem, bistar par game !
    4. Ghar me saali to raat bhar diwali !
    5. Phat gai panty to chud gai aunty !
    6. ?#@*&%!^$~ ho gayi thandi !
    7. Zalim ?#@*&%!^$~ lage hathoda !
    8. Peticot me bombisfot !
    9. Paan khaye muniya,maa chudaye duniya !
     
  2. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    What is Harry Potter's favorite pickup line?
    I’d like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets!
     
  3. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    The morning after an all-night honeymoon expert virtuoso performance in bed, the somewhat amazed but blissfully happy newlywed wife snuggles up to her new hubby and says, “Darling, you are just wonderful. Last night was simply amazing. May I ask how many others were there before me?”
    After a few moments of silence, the wife becomes a little testy and says, “Come on, I know there must have been some – I’m waiting.”
    And “Captain Experience” takes a deep breath and says, “Hang on sweetheart, I’m still counting.
     
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  5. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He’d toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
    He tried and tried to dig it out but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper. He asked his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.
    As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter’s date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blow hard.
    When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy.
    The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat.
    Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, “That’s wonderful. Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going to be when he grows older?!”
    The father replies “From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law!”
     
  6. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm.
    His wife turned over and said, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep.
    A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?”
     
  7. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"

     
  8. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's ?#@*&%!^$~ and say "Well done!".

    Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters.
     
  9. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    sigh.... which century do u live in kid ? .. these are decades old jokes....i was expecting some fresh ones !
     
  10. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    kid... who kid .. u have an alias of a boy wizard and u call me a kid.. cook sm fresh ones urself bro :p :p :p :p.. or wait till i find sm new ones
     
  11. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Prafulbhai was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see doctor, a young, recent medical graduate. The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him, "Go home. Lie down on your tummy. Open your ass wide. And ask your wife to shove some gin up your ass-hole."

    "What???" said Prafulbhai

    The doctor repeated patiently, "Go home. Lie down on your tummy. Open your ass wide. And ask your wife to shove some gin up your ass-hole."

    The headache was really killing him, so Prafulbhai went home and, very sceptically, tried out what the doctor told him. And guess what, the headache vanished!

    So Prafulbhai goes running back to the doc, and says "Doctor, doctor, where did you learn this amazing cure?"

    And the doctor replies modestly, "Oh that's nothing. They taught us this on our very first day in medical school"

    "Really?" says Prafulbhai, "This is what they taught you in medical school?"

    "Yes, of course. They said for headache you should always prescribe anal gin.
     
  12. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    A guy had to choose a wife from 3 girls.

    So he gave few $$$ ti test them. First one got a makover to look good. The man got impressed.

    Second bought clothes for the guy and told him it's he who is prime for her. He liked her also.

    Third girl invested the money and made a profit and gave it back. The guy liked her too.

    And finally when the time came to choose--- The guy simply chose the girl with the BIGGEST ?#@*&%!^$~S!!!!

    Men always be MEN!!!
     
  13. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    One has to be careful in asking questions to teens nowadays. Father checked his son school bag. There was a condom.

    Father: R U not ashamed of having condom in the school bag?

    Son: Are u not shy of telling ur son is a father at this age?
    --- Double Post Merged, Aug 28, 2012 ---
    Mallya had piles of cash. The cash had gone & only the PILES are left. So now it's called King-Fissure!!!!
     
  14. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    Use normal font dude. These are jokes not MY BAN MESSAGES
     
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  15. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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  16. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Nurse: Ur Wife delivered Triplets

    British: I am not surprised,
    My Tool is as big as a Chimney

    Nurse: Better get it cleaned,
    They All r Black..



    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  17. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    3 Women Discus Sexual Partner
    1. My man is Mercedes:confused:mooth & Sophisticated
    2. My man Ferrari :Fast And Powerful
    3. My man Autorickshaw :Needs HANDSTART.


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  18. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Boy-U R wearing Red Bra
    Girl-Hw do u know
    B-Thanx 2 RAJNI eyecare
    G-U r nt wearing undrwear
    B-Hey U 2 RAJNI eyecare?
    Grl-Chain laga Laudu,,,Aande bahar
    latak rahe hai


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  19. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.

    Two days before the group is to leave, Rob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.
    Rob’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.
    Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
    “Dam man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”
    “Well, I’ve been here since yesterday......Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said ‘guess who’?”
    I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, “now you can do what ever you want.”

    So here I am…. :D !

    Moral: NEVER deny a man meeting his friends!!!


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     
  20. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    3 Women Discus Sexual Partner
    1. My man is Mercedes:confused:mooth & Sophisticated
    2. My man Ferrari :Fast And Powerful
    3. My man Autorickshaw :Needs HANDSTART.


    Tapatalk on iPhone 4S to the rescue
     

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