Derp The Not-So Nice jokes thread!!

Discussion in 'RAIDers League' started by TheMightyS, Aug 27, 2012.

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  1. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Wife comes home late at night
    and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

    From under the blanket
    she sees four legs instead of two!

    She reaches for a baseball bat
    and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

    Once she's done,
    she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

    As she enters,
    she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. [​IMG]

    "hi darling", he says,
    "your parents have come to visit us,
    so I let them stay in our bedroom.
    Hope you have said hello to them."
     
  2. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Beat dis: How does a foreigner says ....open the door to his servant in hindi ?
    (Read this fast in British accent)
    "There was a cold day"......:D
     
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  3. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    The wife left a note on the fridge.



    "It’s not working, I can’t take it anymore! Gone to stay at my Dad’s."



    I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.... Not sure what she was talking about!
     
  4. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Hum unki chahat mein itni door nikal aaye....
    ...................
    ...............
    ..................
    ki ab.................
    ........
    ;)
    .............
    ;)


    Riskshay wala wapsi ke 500 Rs maang raha hai ;)
     
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  5. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Wife Hints to husband for a new Car!

    "Dear! buy me something that goes from 0 to 80 in 3 seconds when i am on it."
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .


    Husband gifted Her A "Weight Machine"
     
  6. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    A young girl after her honeymoon
    came fully exhausted and tired,

    When her friends asked her what happened?

    She replied :
    When this 70 year old ?#@*&%!^$~ told me
    he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

    I thought It was MONEY
     
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  7. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Girl: Do you love me?
    Boy: Ofcourse darling..I do.
    Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
    Boy: That depends on your husband....If he allows me to love u ....:p;)
     
  8. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Having a cold drink on a hot day wid a few friends is nice.....
    ......
    .....
    but.....
    .......
    wat bout having a hot friend on a cold nite after a few drinks .;)
     
  9. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    mrsmohitgamer likes this.
  10. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    yeah yippy .....;P:thumbup::rock:
     
  11. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    this ones for u ladies mrsmohitgamer skindeepink solarplexus MrsJD666 and the rest..


    Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;

    Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

    Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
    Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

    Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
    Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

    Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
    Woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

    Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
    Woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

    That's it!!!

    There after man has discovered and invented a lot of things...


    While women are still STUCK with


    SHOPPING .... .......... . !!!

    __________________
     
  12. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    father: Why is ur mother sitting so silently today?
    son: nothing dad, she asked for LIPSTICK...I heard FEVISTICK
    father: God bless!!! you my son...!! ;)
     
  13. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    Ek Din School Mein Teacher Ne Pappu Se Ek Sawal Poocha:

    Teacher: “Pappu Batao, Salwar Ke Nade Ko English Mein Kya Kehte Hai?”

    Pappu: “Ji Mam, P.H.D.”


    Teacher Hairan Hokar: “Iska Kya Matlab Hai?”



    Pappu: “Ji, Payjama Holding Device.”.........
     
  14. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    These are kid jokes, I was wondering if they were NSFW, apparently far from it.
     
  15. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    yeah....same here :(
     
  16. BANHAMMER

    BANHAMMER Teh Almighty BanHammer Staff Member

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    we need signops with his over the top dirty humour
     
  17. harryneopotter

    harryneopotter NEO is my middle name ! Staff Member

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    true ... Someone please call him here !
     
  18. mrsmohitgamer

    mrsmohitgamer RAID Rookie

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    Once a group of men went to teerth yatra...
    Their guru said dont get distracted if u see a beautiful girl...
    just close ur eyes n say "Hari om"
    15 mins later one of them said:"Hari om"....and...
    everyone's reaction was "Kitthe ? Kitthe?" ;P
     
  19. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    One economical thought:
    The best line which helps to save money
    when going on dinner with your girlfriend....
    Bol kya khayegi MOTTI..?
     
  20. TheMightyS

    TheMightyS ActiveRAIDer

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    An Angry Wife To Her Husband On Phone:
    “Where The Hell Are You ?”
    Husband: “Darling You Remember That
    Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond
    Necklace And Totally Fell In Love With It & I
    Didn’t Have Money That Time & I Said Baby
    It’ll Be Yours One Day”
    Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: “Yeah, I
    Remember That My Love”
    Husband: “I’m In The Barber Shop Just Next
    To That Shop“
     

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