Wonko The Sane

Discussion in 'Arts and Photography' started by Xanan, Jun 13, 2012.

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  1. Xanan

    Xanan RAID Rookie

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    Wonko The Sane:

    Wonko had a most peculiar problem, one that he was most embarrassed of. You see, Wonko did not have a navel. Instead, he was cursed with a golden Phillips Number 4 screw. As expected, his childhood was spent in corners, hiding from the bullies that mocked and ridiculed him for his malformed physiology. His parents were no help either- a father that looked upon him as a real life incarnation of the hunchback from the eopnymous novel, and a sad, self-abnegating mother that assured him that all will be resolved with time.

    Time passed by, but nothing really changed. Wonko spent the better part of his teenage years, travelling round the world in search of a cure. Thousands of x-rays, millions of roentgens of radiation, and about fourscore and six doctors later, Wonko came to the conclusion that his cure was beyond medical science.

    Disheartened, distressed and depressed, he made a pilgrimage to the Himalayas, where as his mother had instructed him earlier, resided a sadhu of some fame, specialising in getting people jobs, sorting out marital problems such as ED and infidelity, curing aids and cancer, and in general, stabilising World economies, all with a sprinkle of Ganga jal.

    Needless to say, Wonko's cup of faith for a cure had run dry, and as far as sadhus with panacea, he had no cup to speak of. Nonetheless, he decided to make the trip.

    The ashram was a modest structure, all wood and bark. It was populated mostly by firangs craving some respite from there materialistic life, or what was more likely, a vacation replete with marijuana, and no work to boot.
    The sadhu saw Wonko from a considerable distance off, and called out his name.
    Surprised that this Sadhu could know his name without him telling, Wonko's heart beat just a little faster: perhaps he may yet find a cure.

    "Do not be surprised. I can cure cancer and aids, your name shouldnt be such a mystery to me. I also know that you are troubled by a screw and have so far found it impossible to remove"

    "How do you know all this? I never expected these things from a mere sadhu" exclaimed Wonko.

    "Silence! I'm no mere sadhu! I can cure you. Besides, your mother called thrice during my evening puja, and told me everything despite my protests that I was too busy with gopis and too stoned on weed to pay attention. Now take this ganga jal and be off"

    "But what am I to do with this?" cried Wonko.

    "Sprinkle it over your bed, for all I care! Now off you go, or by Rama's beard, I shall bonk you on your head with my stick"

    Anyway, Wonko headed home and did as he was told. In the night, he had the weirdest dream. he dreamt that he was naked, and in front of him stood a tall tree. Atop the tree, on the tallest branch gleamed something in the moonlight.
    Curious, Wonko climbed the tree, and saw the gleaming object was a screw driver, and that too, a Phillips Number 4. He took the screw driver, and using it, unscrewed the screw.
    No sooner had he done so, he woke up with a start. To his amazement, he realised that he was stark naked. Not only that, the troublesome screw was gone!
    He jumped up in excitement and his a$$ fell off.
    --- Post Merged: Jun 13, 2012 12:42 PM ---
    Tagging Luciffer
     
    ManISinJpr likes this.
  2. Luciffer

    Luciffer Satan Spawn Staff Member

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    Any chance you can post that "Futuristic Story" ?
    I wanna see people's reactions.. and you can post that now.. while the site's not open for public consumption.
    We can remove it, if you want, when the site goes live.. since it might be too much for the general public. :(
    Altho.. damn thing would need warnings even for the people here..
    After all we don't want to corrupt guys like dbg and you certainly don't want to have to explain what "snuff" is to him LOL
     
  3. Xanan

    Xanan RAID Rookie

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    kk...posting it now :)
     
  4. MOZ

    MOZ RAID Leader Staff Member

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    Interesting, with a deeper meaning than meets the eyes.
     
  5. ManISinJpr

    ManISinJpr Want to resurrect.. !!!

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    Lovely !! Now I want to know what happened to his fallen ass and how he got it back ;)
     

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